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The first big step to handling conflict more professionally is to recognise that conflict is perfectly normal.

Most people feel conflict is bad and avoid dealing with it. That can lead to a lot more conflict. The first big step to handling conflict more professionally is to recognise that conflict is normal.

If you have a relationship with someone you will have conflict - no matter how good the relationship is

Following are some key ideas to help you do a better job coping with conflict, and more importantly, facing up to it

Change your Attitude

First recognise that there is a lot to be gained by being open to conflict and taking action in response to it.

Conflict is good. It helps to:

Measure unrest in a community or inside the organisation

Measure interest in a topic or issue

Point out blind spots in programmes

Identify poor administrators or other staff members

Show where you have failed as a leader or as an organisation to listen to others

Administrators Need to Face Up to Conflict

Conflict should be dealt with right away. Problems usually do not go away when ignored. When you avoid conflict or put off dealing with it, it often grows into a crisis that must be dealt with, and it is much easier to deal with small problems than with crises.

Become an accomplished mediator to help others work through problems. A mediator encourages people to talk and describe what's wrong. The mediator sets ground rules.

An important rule: one side talks while the other listens without interruption; then the other side talks. Often conflict continues because each side constantly tells their view without listening to the other.

Do Not Try to Control People

1. Overuse of control (win-lose) as a response to conflict builds resentment and a desire to get even.
2. The Role of Consensus Builder is an Important Leadership Role
3. A consensus builder listens to people and builds relationships. The goal is to create understanding and work with people, not against them. Many times leaders are so rushed and overloaded with paperwork that they forget to slow down and spend time with people.
4. Leadership cannot be practised alone in your office shuffling papers. Leadership is practised in the presence of others.

A leader inspires and leads people. Here are some recommendations for becoming a consensus builder:

Do not persuade people, build relationships

Do not try to convert others to your way of thinking

Create understanding, not conversion

Face-to-face Communication Helps Solve Problems

Sending information in print appeals to intellect, but with conflict you must also deal with feelings. Resist the urge to overuse one-way communication techniques, whether on paper or electronically. There are so many ways that communication can break down; you should be astounded if you ever get a message across to another person and have it understood 100%.

Keep in Touch

One of the greatest dangers is cutting off communication when dealing with an angry employee, parent or a pressure group inside or outside your organisation.

Learning to listen both passively and actively is essential to managing conflicts. It is important to teach this skill to others, especially supervisors and other administrators. One of the reasons why people get angry and protest is because they think that no one is listening to them.

In surveys about good bosses, employees say that the reason their bosses were good bosses was because 'they listened to me.'

Some things to remember:

Seek to fully understand opposing viewpoints

Do not strike out immediately to oppose or take sides; it polarises conflicting positions, making communication difficult

Communicate as if a problem is shared, not just 'their' problem

Be aware of your feelings and keep them under control

When conflict becomes intense and emotions strong, sometimes a break is helpful to allow emotions to cool

Focus on issues, not people

Find those things you can agree on

Create Feedback Sessions

Help people talk about what bothers them. Encourage them to solve their own problems. Get people to list 'Dumb things I have to do at school' and then eliminate as many of them as possible

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